Young women complain that men have become feminized; young men complain that women are masculine – ” says Ágnes Engler, adjunct of the University of Debrecen, who has been searching for more than ten years for marriage, having children and family issues. You see, women say that men cannot woo, they are not allowed to advance at the door, they do not have the default politeness . Under the leadership of Ágnes Engler, who is also head of the Higher Education Task Force of the three princes and three princesses Movement, a recent survey was carried out on The Mating Habits of college students called family and career. In the framework of the research, students completed more than 1500 questionnaires at 11 universities. 55% of the respondents were women and 45% were men, which is close to the gender ratio of full-time students in higher education. Men seem lonelier than women – summarizes the results for Mandiner Agnes Engler.
Research shows that men are significantly lower in relationships and have shorter relationships.
In terms of planning long-term relationships, men are more uncertain. For example, at the time of the research, 44% of the men responding and 39% of the women responding did not have a relationship, but this, of course, reflects the state of a given moment. Finding the cause of sexual differences in a relationship requires further analysis. The first thing we can think about is the structure of the families of the respondents, but there is no significant difference: 70% of men and 67% of women come from full families. The survey resonates with international research on fathers when it shows that men are concerned about what women expect: traditional men, who decide, lead, support the family; or modern, who takes care of the children emotionally, plays with them, is at home, does he do his part of the housework? Of course, the two are not incompatible, there is no completely homogeneous group, but there is a difference in emphasis. But even though it is possible to reconcile the two, it is true that the expectations of both sexes are not the same: the majority of young men require women to work as much as they need and focus more on the family, but young women think that family and career are possible at the same time. So men think more in traditional roles, and women in more modern ones – ” says the adjunct.
And what is the cause of young men’s hesitation?
According to Agnes Engler, there are not enough male models, families lack fathers, few male educators. In the isolating world, even in the narrow environment, boys can’t see how to woo and make contact. The probability of lack of male samples is also confirmed by the results of an American study, where over ten thousand teenagers have been followed for more than ten years, and the results of which are that the children living in the whole family have done their best. And where there was a broken family or divorce, when a man reappeared in the family, the situation improved, the tendency of children to commit crimes decreased and their aggressiveness decreased, their results improved. No pattern and no place to meet The lack of samples is highlighted by András Berényi, a specialist in clinical and addiction psychology, head of the Mental Hygiene and equal opportunities centre of Debrecen University, who organises a free university for couples at the University.
She doesn’t think that young people have good relationship models, but if they do, the question is, can they be as good a couple as their parents? And while they are uncertain and unable to see true patterns, the media presents idealized roles, which is a source of further frustration, because the question arises whether we can be as charming, whether we can have as much money, cars and jobs as the ones in the media. On the one hand, there are no good examples and on the other hand, there are external expectations that cannot be met; on the other hand, the parties attach excessive expectations to the other.